Food, while it is a necessity for living sometimes we tend to abuse it. As you may or may not know I have struggled with my weight most of my life and this past year it reached its all time high. I was so frustrated that I wasn't fitting into my clothes and I refused to go out and buy new clothes especially if it meant going up a size.
As you know I have been on my journey of becoming a new me. I joined Weight Watchers 12 weeks ago and I have lost 19 lbs so far. I am starting to fit into some of my old clothes again and this makes me really excited. I started thinking about why I was doing it the other day and didn't put two and two together, but really it is part of my journey that I have been on the last year to figure out some of my issues and resolve them. Focus on me time is what I like to fondly call it, but really it is me learning to love myself. Everyone always says I have the biggest heart and that I just love everyone no matter what. But that was always everyone but myself. Last year I started to focus on things that I could control. I started getting my medications in check, I started seeing someone and talking about some of the issues that I had, I started sticking up for myself (which I will always be working on), I started working in the temple so that I could grow closer to my Heavenly Father and see myself the way he does, and finally my weight loss journey. Yeah sure it feels nice to have people compliment me on my journey, but really I am doing it for myself. I want to be happy with myself and regardless of what size I am, I am going to know that I am where I am because of what I have done to get there.
With that all being said recent meetings at Weight Watchers has made me think about why I eat? Yesterday I realized that a big part of it is I am emotional eater. Being the highly emotional, sensitive, yet loving person that I am. . . it comes to stark revelation why I am where I was 12 weeks ago. What made me come to this stark revelation you ask?? Well yesterday was the day from hell!! And since I didn't pack any fruit or snacks, by the end of the work day I was not only mentally and emotionally exhausted, I had already pretty much eaten my daily alotment that I have for the day from Weight Watchers. And it didn't stop there. I drove through Taco Bell and got myself dinner on my way home knowing perfectly well it wasn't going to fill me up and when I got home from FHE and the grocery store I then proceeded to eat a bowl of cereal and some slices of pizza that my roommate had brought home from work.
What have I learned from yesterday's catastrophe of eating . . . well I am pretty sure that the scale is going to go up instead of down, which I have come to accept the consequences of my actions. I need to ALWAYS pack snacks . . . today I brought my cheese twists and two bananas. Totally prepared today. Have a big breakfast so I am not so hungry throughout the day. Finally, I need to find a new outlet to release my strees, anxiety, and emotional turmoil.
1 comment:
You're amazing! Not only are you learning so much but you are achieving so much! Is it appropriate to say I am proud of you? I am always appreciative of people that learn to stand up for themselves though and who take time to discover who they are and why they are who they are. Good for you!
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