So I am approaching my 30th Birthday at the end of the month and honestly I have been dreading this day for the last 6 months. Being 30 and still not married was definitely not part of my plan when I was thinking of how my life would be when I was a little girl. The church has noticed that people are getting married later and that is why they have been talking about it soo much the last few years.
My family is very supportive for the most part, but occasionally I will feel pressure from a few of them. Asking me if I am getting out there. Telling me that I should join lds dating websites, to go to as many activities as possible, moving where there are more members (ie: not in california), etc. My sister even as cute as she is, she even told me that she put my name in the temple so that I will find husband.
The thing that I really didn't think about until recently what being 30 and single means is the type of people that are available to date. Unfortunately the first thought that comes to my mind when I meet a guy around my age and single is, Are you divorced and if you are what happend (because obviously something must be wrong with you.) The second thought that comes to my mind if they haven't been married is, If you aren't married what major issues do you have because you aren't married yet. Sad, but true. Then you start to think . . . well should I go for a younger guy. I have never been interested in younger guys. Being the youngest of 5 I have always dated older than me . . . the one exception was Jared and he was only 2 days younger.
With all that being said, one of my friends thinks I am going through a mid-life crisis. There is a guy at work that I started to flirt with a few weeks ago. He isn't a member of the church, he is 5 years younger than me, has a tatoo, and a lip ring. Not usually the guy I go for. Part of me wants to pursue it because he's a really nice guy. But then at the same time . . . in the back of my mind I am thinking . . he's not a member and I want to get married in the temple. I have all of my Young Women's teachers lessons repeating like a broken record in my head. "You marry who you date" I have never dated a non-member and all of the sudden all sorts of things come up that I never had to deal with. Like how do I set up ground rules for him and how do I keep him from not crossing any of my lines. I take my covenants very seriously and I try my very best to live the gospel. Today we went to luch together and he kissed me for the first time. Of course he tried to put his hands where they aren't supposed to be and I kept moving them away and saying no. Then you have to talk about the whole garment issue. I am starting to see why people are saying it is hard to date outside of the church. But I started going into this thinking I wasn't really expecting to marry him and that I wasn't going to take it seriously. But being 30 and still single . . . should I really use my time dating someone that can't take me to the temple.
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