Dating

So I was talking to one of my mission companions yesterday, and I told her about my initial hesitation of creating a blog because I always felt that I should be married and have children and talk about all the funny stories about my kids, but the stories I have a single person is only about dating, work, and roommate dramas. She reminded me that sometimes those are the best stories to read about.

Being the ripe age that I am I have had my fair share of first dates, both good and bad. I went on another first date this last week and once again you go through the typical thoughts . . . Did he like me? Will he call again? Do I want to go out with him again? Did I do something incredibly stupid when I was with him? You know us girls . . . we tend to dissect it and over analyze it to death that you get to the point that you aren't really sure what to do any more. So the question is . . . . how do you just go with the flow and let things come as they come and not do the typical dissection and over analyzing of things.

I was talking to my mom today and her response was to keep myself busy with something else and let it go at the pace that he wants to set. Yeah right. Like I am going to be able to keep myself that busy that I can keep my mind from wandering and thinking about things.

The ironic thing is every time something comes a long I always think man this is a pain and it just complicates things. But then when they go a way after about a month you start wanting to go out on dates and have the attention. It is like you purposely give yourself amnesia of all the complications so you will continue to go out on first dates and then when you do start dating again not only does your amnesia go away you wind up having a crystal clear memory of all the previous relationships you have had and you start to worry about other stuff too. But at some point you have to get over yourself and just let things go. It is a vicious cycle but we all have to go through it. Otherwise where would we be as a population. =)

Gut Instinct

I haven't always been good about noticing or following my gut instinct. Sometimes I keep thinking that it will be okay even though my gut instinct is telling me that I shouldn't. Sometimes it winds up being okay, but other times it has come back to bite me in the butt. I hope this isn't one of those times where it comes back and bites me in the butt.

So today I feel I was painted into a corner by my roommates. Figuratively speaking, not literally. As you know I have been having a hard time finding a roommate to replace the one that left me high and dry. Well originally we had worked out an agreement where one roommate was going to move into the master bedroom at a discounted price because she couldn't afford the original amount and we were going to find someone to fill her room. Well today I find out that two girls really want to move in asap. One I am totally cool with. The other while she is a really cool girl . . . she has a really big flaw. She owns a dog. She promises that she nor the dog will be around much and that the dog is really clean because she is a dog groomer. Also it is supposedly the least allergenic dog that you can get. (one roommate is slightly allergic, but this same roommate is pushing for this girl to move in) so less dander and stuff. The dog is 11 years old and is really mellow. It is also blind. It is fully trained and it only barks like a few seconds when someone rings the doorbell. She promises that the dog won't go into the main rooms. While all these things are great, the fact is . . . she still owns a dog. Is someone getting something I'm not. Why are my roommates pushing for this since this was the reason one of my original roommates moved out about 9 mos ago.

While they told me that it was up to me . . . and she did say that if it wasn't working out feel free to kick her out. I still felt somewhat pressured and obligated to go along with this agreement. Hence the feeling that I was painted into a corner.

My gut instinct was telling me earlier today it wasn't a good idea, but being the pushover that I am. I gave in. Hence . . . I sure hope this isn't one of those times that it comes around and bites me in the butt.

Sean & Kirstin

Okay, so I have always told my sister, Kirstin, that sometimes when I see pictures of my nephew, Sean (my brother, Brett, & sista-in-law, Lydia's, little boy), that he looks a lot like her. While he does have a lot of his mom in him . . . I still think there is a lot of resemblance between the two of them. I wonder if they were twins in another lifetime. jk. You be the judge.

my sister, Kirstin, when she was younger

My nephew, Sean, playing in the sprinklers this summer.

The Color Black

So I got this email from my dad today telling me to change the color of my blog from black to another color and to make my font bigger because otherwise it was too hard to read.
Well I decided that it was time to find a cute background anyway and they have these really cute ones that you can add. Anyway that is besides the point . . . I will never understand it, but I have always had a strong inclination towards the color black. Before my mission I wore a lot of black clothes. You could look into my closet and find that most of my clothes were black. One might think I was in mourning or something. I just liked the color and it always looked good on me. During my mission my mom sent me only black, white, & khaki colored clothing. By the end of my mission I was craving color and bright colors at that. Hence now I have a strong inclination towards colors. But I still have this strong inclination for the color black.
Anyway so I was on this website looking at cute layouts for my blog and discovered that almost all of the layouts that I liked had a black background (what I was trying to avoid because it is hard to read). This was very frustrating. Finally I found one that I would be okay with. Anyway just for you Dad, My background is no longer black.

Trials

Okay so I know I've been on a mission and I know better, but sometimes you can't help but feel like you're being punished for something. While I know that this is not true . . . I have just been a little frustrated lately. So my roommate told me on the 24th of last month that she was moving out on the 25th. Nice notice eh? Well my other two roommates and I started scrambling to find a replacement. We had until the 5th until rent was due. Well we had several people come and look at the place and just when we thought maybe our problem was solved. They told us no. Hence tomorrow is the 5th and we still have no more roommate. And while I know we are all learning and growing together . . . I can't help but say to myself sometimes. Am I being punished for something?

It is at times like these that I have to remind myself, though it may be hard, of others in the scriptures who have endured much harder trials. Job for instance. He had everything taken away from him and yet he still had faith in the Lord. Nephi, was persecuted constantly by his brothers, but he still had faith. The brother of Jared saw no solution to his problems, but he had faith. While I think I have had great amounts of faith in my life. . . I still think that this is a spiritual gift that I still struggle with from time to time. So my challenge to myself tomorrow is to have more faith and to stop doubting and fearing. After all I have seen many blessings come from this trial. My roommates and I are even more closer today than we were a week and a half ago. We are working together to solve our dilemma. We have had roommate prayer a few times now. That is something we never did before. And my landlord has been so nice and willing to work with us in this time of trial.