Did you get it yet??

So I think it is kind of funny how Heavenly Father works. He will keep teaching us a lesson until we get it.

Well as you know I have ventured off in the uncharted waters of online dating. And since I am 30 I started thinking, well maybe I am just being too picky and that is why I haven't gotten married. So as I start talking to some people I think well I can over look this and I can over look that.

I taught the Young Women on Sunday about Marriage Standards. I gave them a Big Hunk and I said that although we are all wishing and hoping for the Big Hunk, I then pulled out these cute little sun glasses that I got from the 99 cent store with a little quote tied onto it saying "Look closely as you "eye" your prospective marriage partner. You will be yoked together for eternity. Be sure your "eyes" are on the same goals" I talked to them about setting goals like getting married in the temple and how I haven't compromised on that standard

Then the other day I caught myself trying to give a guy a chance, he was a member but hasn't been active for a while and started becoming active again recently, but obviously he can't take me to the temple. I was talking to my sister and she said the funniest thing. "Erin, I wish I could plop my brain in your head" Long story short she gave me comfort in rejecting someone because they don't currently have a temple recommend.

So needlessly to say I think the Young Women Message was for me just as much as it was for them. And it is like Heavenly Father is saying to me, "Duh Erin, Did you get it yet?" Yes, Heavenly Father, I got it. I started looking at guys profiles and if they say under the temple status side, "temple worthy no recommend, rather not say, etc." I don't even give them a second glance.

Top 10 Ten Reasons Why Online Dating Sucks

So I go back and forth between online dating. I sign up for a month and then I will walk away from it. I have always had mixed feelings about it. So just for your enjoyment pleasure I have made a list of Top 10 Reasons Why Online Dating Sucks.

10. Creepy guys from random countries try to get you to be their VISA ticket to the USA

9. Guys who are old enough to be your dad keep looking at your profile . . . REALLY?? You honestly think somone 30 years younger than you would be interested in dating you??

8. Instead of getting rejected just by one guy you get rejected by several a day. Whether it be that they look at your profile and don't do anything or you message them or flirt with them and they never send a response back. Great for the self-esteem. If you didn't feel bad about yourself before it sure will make you feel even worse afterwards.

7. You thought that dating in your ward was slim pickings try online dating . . . even slimmer than your ward

6. You can invent whoever you want online. So you may think you are talking to a real nice guy but really he's a creeper

5. Sometimes you get a guy who initiates contact with you and then once you start talking to the guy they go mute and you have to create the whole conversation. (Try IM'g with someone who doesn't help you carry on a conversation)

4. Guys online are just as challenged as guys in real life (meaning they are lacking a lot of social skills)

3. Essentially you feel like you are part of a Breakfast Buffet, They can puruse all of the pictures and pick which ones they like and don't like just like you would the Breakfast Buffet

2. People keep telling you that Online Dating actually works, including well meaning family members who just want you to be married and happy, but so far you've tried and you have yet to meet the man of your dreams.

And the #1 Reason why Online Dating Sucks is Online Dating isn't really dating . . . you still aren't going on dates. . . . so what's the point.

This isn't to make anyone who has tried and enjoys Online Dating feel bad. This is just from my personal experinece and I am venting.

Weight Loss Fizzle

Ok I know, most of you are probably thinking . . . not another weight loss blog. But I can't help it . . . it is what is on my mind.

Two weeks ago I hit 22 lbs. I felt amazing. I couldn't believe that I had lost that much weight. Shortly after I hit this big wall that I can't seem to climb over. It is like all that motivation to track and watch what I was eating and staying on the program just drained out of me . . . I just got this really bad attitude and said to myself. I don't want to track, I don't want to count points, I want to eat whatever I feel like eating. I went to my meeting on Saturday and one of the worker bee's (as I like to call them) told me that she sees this with so many people. When they hit 20-25 lbs they just seem to fizzle out. She made me promise that I would track and I did make the promise . . . but it is Monday and I still have yet to track and I still ate the two pcs of cake that were offered to me yesterday and I still didn't care about tracking and paying attention to what I was eating. Somehow I have to find the motivation and drive that I have had for the last several months. Maybe that is why I am blogging right now.

I know that 90% of it is all in my head and I have to figure out to get over this mental wall. I do want to achieve my goal, right now I'm just at a loss of how?

Out of My Element

I always like getting new callings because it challenges me in ways that I wasn't challeneged before. I recently got called to be a Young Women's Advisor in my ward. I immediately felt overwhelmed with the calling when I accepted it. Mind you I haven't been in a family ward in close to 10 years. It isn't really the teaching part that scares me so much. I have been a Primary Teacher, Gospel Principles Teacher, & Gospel Doctorine Teacher. So I love teaching. What intimidates me is at least with the Primary kids you know they aren't paying attention so it doesn't really matter. Gospel Principles & Gospel Doctorine they do listen as well as participate so it makes teaching really easy. Young Women on the other hand. . . they are listening and they refuse to voluntarily participate. I taught my first lesson two weeks ago and seriously . . . when I asked questions you could hear crickets chirp. I just started calling on them to make them participate.
The other part that intimidates me is . . . I haven't had to carry on a conversation with someone this age in forever. I don't spend a lot of time with my niece and nephew that are this age and the nieces and nephews that I do spend time with are all little and all you have to do is love and play with them. I went to Young Women's last night and had to pick up two of the girls for the activity and I just feel sooo awkward. I just want to love and bond with this girls, but I have forgotten how. You would think that it wouldn't be so intimidating seeing that I once was one of these girls, but for some reason it just makes me all sorts of uncomfortable. I am grateful for this calling. I know that it will be really good for me. But most of all I want to be a good leader and example to them.

Dress Size??

Okay so I'm sorry that all of my blog posts lately have been related to my recent "lifestyle" change as Weight Watchers likes to put it . . . but that is what is going on in my life so if you are tired of reading about it . . . too bad that is my life and is what I have to talk about.

For the past few weeks I have really started to notice how big my clothes were getting on me. Yesterday I finally decided that enough was enough. I had already raided my closet looking for smaller sizes for work pants and for some reason . . . I don't have any . . . I must have worn dresses more when I was that size. Anyway so I walked into Costco to order a cake for my co-worker's baby shower and right when I walked in I saw that they had some dress pants for sale for only $15. I'm thinking this is awesome. What a great deal. Well of course you can't try them on in the store so I bought them and went home to try them on. They sort of fit. Well at least I could zip up the zipper and button the button, but I felt like the pants had been painted on me. I was sooo frustrated. My current size is way too big, but the size smaller was too small. I felt deflated. I had convinced my roommate to go with me to Old Navy. Again, I felt like they were a little snug, but my roommate and the lady at the store told me that they looked fine. So I wound up buying them and I am currently wearing them. I still feel they are a little too snug in my pooch area, but I guess I've always been self conscious about that and I can cover it up with shirts.

The point of my story. Today I logged on to Weight Watchers and they had written an article about sizes and they showed the drastic differences between stores on sizes. I had already know this, but I never realized that it was this bad. Below is the sizing chart for a size 8 at many popular stores.

Mini Rewards

How do you reward yourself? While on my weight loss journey I tried to think of ways to reward myself for losing weight. It is like when you were little and your mom would wrap her arms around you and give you a kiss and tell you how proud she is of you.

Even though losing the weight in and if itself is rewarding. My roommate said I should reward myself. Normally a person would go out and eat to celebrate, but as Jason my group leader says, "that's what got us where we are in the first place." So what I'm about to tell you may sound a little silly and frivolous to some, it really cheers me up and makes me happy.

Fresh Flowers always make me happy. Especially Gerbera Daisies (my personal favorite), but any flower makes me happy. Spring is my favorite season and part of that is because I grew up in Utah we always had about 4-5 mos of brown drabness. Then about March everything started to turn green and most of all the flowers started to bloom.

Now here comes the frivolity... I have been known to buy flowers for myself quite often. In fact I have bought them for myself more than I have received them from significant others. Well how have I been rewarding myself you might guess?? See for yourself... My reward for losing 20.6 lbs

Why Do You Eat?

Food, while it is a necessity for living sometimes we tend to abuse it. As you may or may not know I have struggled with my weight most of my life and this past year it reached its all time high. I was so frustrated that I wasn't fitting into my clothes and I refused to go out and buy new clothes especially if it meant going up a size.

As you know I have been on my journey of becoming a new me. I joined Weight Watchers 12 weeks ago and I have lost 19 lbs so far. I am starting to fit into some of my old clothes again and this makes me really excited. I started thinking about why I was doing it the other day and didn't put two and two together, but really it is part of my journey that I have been on the last year to figure out some of my issues and resolve them. Focus on me time is what I like to fondly call it, but really it is me learning to love myself. Everyone always says I have the biggest heart and that I just love everyone no matter what. But that was always everyone but myself. Last year I started to focus on things that I could control. I started getting my medications in check, I started seeing someone and talking about some of the issues that I had, I started sticking up for myself (which I will always be working on), I started working in the temple so that I could grow closer to my Heavenly Father and see myself the way he does, and finally my weight loss journey. Yeah sure it feels nice to have people compliment me on my journey, but really I am doing it for myself. I want to be happy with myself and regardless of what size I am, I am going to know that I am where I am because of what I have done to get there.

With that all being said recent meetings at Weight Watchers has made me think about why I eat? Yesterday I realized that a big part of it is I am emotional eater. Being the highly emotional, sensitive, yet loving person that I am. . . it comes to stark revelation why I am where I was 12 weeks ago. What made me come to this stark revelation you ask?? Well yesterday was the day from hell!! And since I didn't pack any fruit or snacks, by the end of the work day I was not only mentally and emotionally exhausted, I had already pretty much eaten my daily alotment that I have for the day from Weight Watchers. And it didn't stop there. I drove through Taco Bell and got myself dinner on my way home knowing perfectly well it wasn't going to fill me up and when I got home from FHE and the grocery store I then proceeded to eat a bowl of cereal and some slices of pizza that my roommate had brought home from work.

What have I learned from yesterday's catastrophe of eating . . . well I am pretty sure that the scale is going to go up instead of down, which I have come to accept the consequences of my actions. I need to ALWAYS pack snacks . . . today I brought my cheese twists and two bananas. Totally prepared today. Have a big breakfast so I am not so hungry throughout the day. Finally, I need to find a new outlet to release my strees, anxiety, and emotional turmoil.